If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
