Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
