is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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