i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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