dude i'm inner monologue high
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
please come you make the beer taste better
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i think my cat just said my name.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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