he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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