Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just googled if crying burns calories
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
