He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
did i walk over a car last night?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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