it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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