i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
