sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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