OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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