wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
