Having a random hookup so left but love u
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
