Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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