jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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