Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
