I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
