I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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