can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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