I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
