God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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