I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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