I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
