win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
