why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
