It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
