Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
