It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
