my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
