I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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