omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize