her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
