Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
