So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
