wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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