try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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