her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
