wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize