I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
