is wine microwaveable?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My life is pants optional.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
