why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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