I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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