she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
