I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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