It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
