Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
