A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize