2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
