I bet he comes in French.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
it was like eating out sand paper
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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