I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
