the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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