fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
