my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
