If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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