SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
